Arthur and Melissa’s Notes on Everything

Looks like the postal service might have gotten a bit rough with a package this week. There was even a label on it marked “delivered possibly damaged.” No, really? Fortunately, it was mostly air.

Spring sprung a while back, and these few petunias that my mother brought on her last trip finally decided that they’ve settled in enough to produce one little flower.

Meanwhile, there’s not a whole lot going on around here. (which might not be completely accurate, but the flip side is, how excited can I get writing about mowing the lawn and doing laundry?)

Fezzik went to the groomer at the vet on Friday for a bath and a haircut. It was the first time to use this groomer (or any for that matter), so I got there early so I could talk to her about what I wanted. She asked me about all these different cuts, and finally asked me if I just wanted to keep the “teddy bear” cut, which is what he had. I said that would be fine, just keep the cut he has, only make it shorter. When I picked him up that evening, he looked like a shorn sheep. The only hair left on my poor dog was his ears. Even his little nubby tail was hairless! I honestly wondered for a second if the woman had brought out the correct dog. I don’t know how the lady interpreted “keep the same cut, only shorter” to mean “shave my dog down to his skin”. All I could do is stare in disbelief as I wrote out the $30 check to pay the groomer. The good thing is that he is cut so short that we won’t have to go back to the groomer for about 6 months. However, someone else is going to get my $30 next time.

Geez. Banner ads on the internet have become more ridiculous than ever. You’ll have to click on the thumbnail to fully appreciate it. It made me laugh out loud.

My new Sony Ericsson z520a flip phone arrived yesterday, courtesy of FedEx’s package-smashing neanderthals. Luckily, the outside box was roomy enough to take most of the beating without allowing too much damage to the phone box. I hadn’t really planned on getting a new phone yet (even though I was eligible for an upgrade), but while browsing Cingular’s Premier Business website for solutions to my bad reception problem, I found a really snazzy phone that was free with a two year contract. Apparently, the business customers get much better discounts than the regular people, because the phone was not free on the regular Cingular website.

Here is a brief summary of the features:

• Quad-band (can use anywhere in the world)

• Infrared, Bluetooth, and USB connections
• Camera
• Ridiculously good battery life (up to 9 hours talk time, 12 days standby)
• Internal and external color backlit displays

That funky looking bar thing on the back is the antenna, which provides some of the best reception of all the phones that Cingular offers (according to numerous user comments on the internet). So far, it has lived up to those praises. My phone also differs from the picture, because Cingular ships the phone with blue covers, instead of the gray or white ones that Sony Ericsson ships.

The funny thing is, after I ordered the phone, my reception problems on the Nokia mysteriously cleared up, and I went from literally being off the cellular network to having perfect reception almost anywhere. So Arthur is going to use my old Nokia 6200 (which is still great, but I wanted a camera phone). Arthur’s Motorola will probably just collect dust somewhere. He is not eligible for an upgrade until next year, but we’ve both decided that the next phone either of us gets will be anything but a Motorola.

I’m proud of myself; I actually ate fruit today. I noticed a can of mandarin oranges in the pantry, and I was hungry, so I opened it up. I added some marachino cherries and had a little fruit salad. If only I’d had an apple – it would have been perfect. So I’ve filled my voluntary fruit consumption quota for the next few years.

In other news, we’re supposed to have a night of history making storms, which might include tornadoes and softball-sized hail. At first I thought our NBC weather guy was blowing things out of proportion, as he often does (I mean, he literally interrupts programming when the wind blows hard). I flipped around to the other news programs at lunchtime today, and they all agree that the weather in the area is going to be really bad tonight. I guess we’re going to miss Deal or no Deal, gosh darnit.

I promised to post pictures of Fezzik playing with his Nylabone, so here they are. I don’t know if I can capture just how hard he likes to chew on it, but you can see that he likes to roll over on his back and chew, as well as holding it between his paws. I have also included a picture of Fezzik waiting for Arthur to come throw his ball, just because it’s cute.

Arthur and I gave Fezzik a much needed bath today. He hasn’t had a bath since we got him, so he smelled pretty bad. Luckily, Fezzik is an easy-going dog, and despite our inexperience in bathing dogs, everything went well. He even let us use the hairdryer on him, so he could continue to sport his poofy poodle head fur. I think he looks prettier (is that appropriate for boy dogs?) now that his fur has grown out a bit.

Something we didn’t account for was that Fezzik would have to go potty after getting done with the bath, even though he went outside just before we bathed him. I went into our closet to change out of my wet clothes, and Fezzik followed me as far as the bedroom. When I came out of the closet, a lake was already forming under Fezzik, right in the middle of our bedroom floor. I freaked out and picked him up to take him outside, but he continued to pee, leaving a trail across the carpet. I called out to Arthur that I had to get the dog outside, and to put some corn starch on the puddles to soak them up. Of course, by the time I got outside with Fezzik, his business was finished. So we circled the yard and came back inside, and I headed to the bedroom to help Arthur clean up. I returned to find giant mounds of something grainy and yellow all over the bedroom floor. I was confused for a minute – surely the cornstarch hadn’t soaked up THAT much pee – then I saw the bag. Arthur had mistaken what I said as I ran out the door with the dog, and had poured corn meal on all the pee. I must say that it has been a long time since I laughed hard enough to make my knees weak. A little vacuum cleaner action was all it took to get the corn meal mess out of the carpet, and the rest of the cleaning up went without incident.

The weather is so pleasant today. It’s been a little overcast and breezy, and the temperature is around 80. It’s a bit hot for me, but it’s a nice change from all the wintry weather we had a couple of weeks ago. We’ve had the windows open all morning and most of the afternoon, until some idiot started burning leaves and stunk up the place.

Fezzik is a happy doggie, and he has been contentedly napping all over the living room. Every so often, he will remember that Arthur is outside spraying ants and weeds, and run to every window he can get to so he can watch (and bark as needed). So far, Fezzik hasn’t had a potty accident in the house for three days, and I’m crossing my fingers that he’s done with that phase. I will start letting him have access to more areas of the house again in a week or so. Arthur’s dad bought a Nylabone variety pack for Fezzik, and they quickly became the new favorite toy. Hopefully I can sneak a picture of him playing with it.

Supposedly, neutering a dog should help him mellow out and be even friendlier. Well, that hasn’t made a whole lot of difference yet with Fezzik, although the trainer we talked to said it can take a month or two to really show. What it has done is make him forget how to use the yard as his bathroom. Hopefully he’ll remember what grass is for after a few days of close supervision to keep him from doing his business inside. This dog can hold it longer than most people we know.